Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togevver, today. Mawwiage, that bwessed awwangement, that dweam wivvin a dweam.
~ The Princess Bride
There are lots of different ways to be married In the Old Testament, including (but not limited to) a widow with (no male offspring) and her dead husband’s brother [Gen. 38:6-10], a woman and the man who raped her [Deut. 22:28-29], a soldier and a female prisoner of war [Deut. 21:11-14], and a handful of others including polygamous marriage and, I suppose, one man and one woman.
In the New Testament, Jesus has a few things to say about marriage. Hearkening back to the Genesis story of the creation of Adam and Eve, Jesus specifically states that marriage is a lifetime contract and, except in the case of infidelity, divorce is strictly forbidden [Matt. 19:9]. The disciples ask him if it’s better not to marry at all, and Jesus responds “Not everyone can accept this teaching, but only those to whom it is given.” [Matt. 19:11]. Basically Jesus is agreeing with the disciples’ observation that it’s better not to marry if they plan on hanging out with him. This fact is laid out even more clearly in Luke 25:26, when Jesus says “Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple.” On top of that, Jesus expects his followers to sell everything they own and live an ascetic lifestyle contemplating none other than God.
Paul emphasizes these points even further in his first letter to the Corinthians. Echoing Jesus’ opinion of marriage versus discipleship, Paul explains “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is well for them to remain unmarried as I am. But if they are not practicing self-control, they should marry.” In other words, if you absolutely have to have sex, then go ahead and get married. But it’s clear in both Jesus’ and Paul’s opinion that not being married is clearly the superior option. “I want you to be free from anxieties,” Paul writes.
The unmarried man is anxious about the affairs of the Lord, how to please the Lord; but the married man is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried woman and the virgin are anxious about the affairs of the Lord, so that they may be holy in body and spirit; but the married woman is anxious about the affairs of the world, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to put any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and unhindered devotion to the Lord. [1 Corinthians 7:32-35]
Paul sums up his argument that remaining single is preferable, saying “So then, he who marries does well; and he who refrains from marriage will do better.”
Jesus was not the proponent of the kind of family values we understand today. He stated this quite succinctly when he said, “I have not come to bring peace, but a sword.” Reflecting the sentiment seen in the Luke passage above, Jesus goes on saying, “Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me…. Those who find their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it.” The choice to follow Jesus would wind up breaking families apart (and indeed has done so to countless families for a long time now).
So according to Jesus and Paul, being unmarried was preferable to being married. But humans being humans, people found sex to be far more interesting than praying, and thus, marriage continued on down through the centuries. And in accordance to the rules laid down in the New Testament by Jesus and Paul, the marriage was codified and ritualized by the Church to ensure that the masses attending masses would grow to provide a steady stream of resources for the increasingly monolithic institution of Catholicism.
What I find particularly interesting about the Catholic Church’s rigorous adherence to rules concerning marriage is how at the same time it managed to completely ignore the very clear stipulations both Jesus and Paul made about giving away material wealth. Remember, it’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God. I wonder if people like Pope Benedict XVI, Rick Santorum or Newt Gingrich (adulterer!) remember that bit? [Matt. 19:24, Mark 10:25, Luke 18:25]















